Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
