i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
