Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
