Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
