'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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