Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
