apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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