Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
