Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
