is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
