that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
