Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you win again, gameday.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I think people are normalizing furries
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
