i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
