exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
