Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
