you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
