My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
