Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
