you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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