I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
