We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
