I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
