Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
