You work out of a Hotel?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
