I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
