we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
