Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
