i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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