Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
