): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
