That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize
