Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
