Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
