I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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