I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Two words: blizzard sex
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
