like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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