She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize