i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
