Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
