i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
