She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize