Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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