Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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