yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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