There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He shit in the fireplace
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