I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
