my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
