I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
