This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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