My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
