you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
