Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
