Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
