I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
