Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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