Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
