I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
