Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
