Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
