Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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