I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
