Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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