i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
