A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
