Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
