tell your sister to shave her snatch
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
There's even glitter on my cock...
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