'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize