It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Randomize
